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For most of my life- a few years excepted- Sundays have been plagued with a gnawing sense of dread.
Monday’s coming. Back to school or work. Assignments I don’t want to do, meetings to slog through, people I don’t want to deal with.
No matter how sunny the weather or what fun activities are planned for the day, I never fully relax with Monday sitting right there, ready to swallow me up in another week. I feel it sharpest in those hours before bed on Sunday night, sometimes bad enough to cry. It’s almost worse than actually waking up Monday morning and dragging myself down the path toward more unwanted assignments, more stress, and whatever else.
While I’m a naturally anxious person, I do think the fear of Monday is worst when I’m filling my days with things that are bad for me at that particular stage in my life.
I’ve resigned from my full-time office job, giving 3 weeks’ notice. This was not a rash decision. In fact, it took 2 years longer than necessary to realize I was doing what I thought I should, not what I really should. Not that I have a perfect picture of where I’ll go from here, but knowing what I don’t want- and turning away, no matter what outside pressures conspire to keep me rooted- is a start.
This is my last full week at the office. I’m giving myself a year to forge a new path with writing as my focus, knowing I can always fall back to the old one if things don’t work out.
I hope they do. I hope yesterday was the last Sunday of dread.
Have you ever made a leap like this? What advice can you give? Let me know in the comments- I could use the encouragement!