I saw a tweet the other day (sadly, I forget by whom) about how we Americans obsess over productivity and efficiency gains when the most rewarding things we’ll ever do in life—for instance, learning something new or producing something creative—are extremely inefficient processes.

It really made me sit back and go, “Huh.” I like to envision my creative process as whittling a statue from a block of marble: put in time and effort, and voila! Finished product. Only it’s not that straightforward. That piece of stone is one tricky son of a bitch: sometimes it holds still, sometimes it veers aside before my chisel strikes. Sometimes it regenerates itself overnight, and sometimes it grows out of control, way bigger than I ever imagined it would be.

My ideas, health, and inspiration will never conform to a schedule. Some days I’m scribbling well past lunchtime, or writing notes to myself before bed. Other days, it’ll be 10:30 before my brain even begins to think about cooperating; or I’ll be sick or have a doctor’s appointment, and my workday is shot. I might intend to work on Chapter X and instead find myself full of ideas about how Chapter (X-1) really should have gone. New and improved ideas often mean that weeks or months of prior work has to be completely obliterated. Then there are the continual highs and lows of the creative process. Sometimes, I have to push myself hard past the horrible feeling that I suck, that everything I touch turns to shit, and I’m kidding myself if I think I’m doing anything worthwhile.

We need a balance. We need the discipline to show up day after day, push through procrastination, and get things done. We need the persistence to keep going even when we feel stuck and frustrated. But we also need self-compassion for the inherently messy elements. Didn’t work the hours you meant to? It’s OK, it happens. Didn’t meet the deadline you arbitrarily imposed on yourself? No sweat. Who’s good at setting deadlines for themselves, anyway? In the grand scheme of things, we don’t even rate a blip on the timeline of the universe. Does it really matter if I kill myself to pound out a manuscript by April rather than September? No, it doesn’t. Whenever my mean old former corporate self rears up to talk project management and deliverables, I have to remind her that the creative journey is winding and uncertain, often doubling back on itself before blasting forward again.

Writing Updates

I spent some time revising earlier stuff in my Book 3 draft. Chapters 1-10 are now nearly 45K. I’ve started drafting Chapter 11 with a big change in mind plot-wise. That means I’ll have to do a lot of thinking before drafting … then rethink it all, and redraft it … hopefully not ad infinitum, but it may be close!

Current Goals

Get back into the saddle. Done! I feel sufficiently “back in business,” having returned to my old routine following last year’s bout of health issues. I got a feature article done for The Daily WTF, and hope to keep up with one article a month along with my editing duties. (In case you’re interested, I’ve archived every article I’ve ever written here.)

Well-rounded Latin practice. Along with my regular self-practice, I now meet once a week to speak Latin with a professor from my alma mater. He’s trying to get more people to join, but so far it’s just us. I’m still quite new to spitting Latin out loud, but I consider this good practice for the full-week immersion seminar that I’ll be going to in July! Indeed, they’ve accepted my registration. I wonder how many other people will be there who aren’t students or teachers, but just fans of the language?

Being a good Stoic. I’ve been working further on minimizing waste and clutter where possible (although I’m not about to do anything drastic like abandon plastic for good). The next exercise I’d like to get into is examining each day’s events and figuring out what I did well vs. what I could’ve done better. I’d like to figure out a good time of day and a good process for this.

Listening to German. I still listen to Deutsche Welle, but haven’t done much more than that lately. Schade! There was a point when I was dreaming in German, but I just haven’t had much use for the language lately. I’m trying not to let it go kaput in my brain.

Civic engagement. I’m interested in going to a League of Women Voters meeting this month where the CEO of our city’s public transit system will be speaking with us. She seems to have been doing a lot of good since getting hired, so I’d be interested to hear what she has to say regarding the future of public transportation.

Travel 2019. I think we’re aiming for upstate New York when it gets warmer, and I’ll be traveling again in July. That’ll be it for this year, but I’ll keep my eye and brain open for what may be fun next year!

Take care and see you next month! :)